I know, we constantly hope that our country is run by people with brains, but sadly the zombies have taken over.

At first I had a hard time believing it but if the BBC says it's true, it must be, right? Apparently the Pentagon was considering building a "gay bomb." This non-lethal chemical weapon could be dropped on enemy soldiers and would, in theory, make soldiers irresistible to each other, therefore dismantling the enemy's morale by transforming them into homosexuals.

Just imagine what would happen if such a bomb fell into the wrong hands. All of a sudden anyone could be gay. Gay priests, gay children, gay grandparents, gay Christians, GAY REPUBLICANS! Evildoers could use such a device to plant homosexuals in all realms of society. No one would be safe.

But seriously, wouldn't the enemy soldiers fight harder if they were in love/lust with each other? Hmm, do I shield my love bucket or my buddy? There's also the possibility...dare I say it...that making soldiers gay might bring peace. I mean, all the queer people I know are pretty non-violent, so...maybe we SHOULD detonate gay bombs all over the world.

But seriously (again) CBS5 out in California (KPIX) reports that the Pentagon confirmed plans for building a gay bomb. The Pentagon insists that it is not, however, currently building it. A Berkley-based watchdog group that tracks Pentagon spending tells a different story. The group discovered the plans for a gay bomb under the Freedom of Information Act, CBS5 reports, BECAUSE the military began spending money on the project. 7.5 million dollars were requested for this project. Okay, but regardless of how far along the project is, the mere fact that the Pentagon is financing a thinktank of some kind in order to come up with ideas like gay bombs--I mean, damn. What about shit bombs, fire ant bombs, brussels sprouts bombs, dentist bombs, restless leg syndrome bombs, or my favorite Pamela Anderson Boob Bombs (if the enemy all grow enormous breasts they'll be too distracted and top-heavy to fight). What's YOUR favorite offensive bomb of the week? I swear the Pentagon should host a reality show where you get a gazillion dollars if your non-lethal bomb idea wins.

Sure enough, according to the BBC, the Pentagon has considered other weapons like the fart bomb and the bomb that makes rats attack you. It's totally righteous, dude.