The downside of enemas is you shouldn't use them more than once a week (check the instructions). This is fine if you just want to fuck once a week, but if you want an active anal life you gotta learn some tricks.

Here's my anal manual. Try it at home--yours or someone else's. If you're at someone else's, though, chances are you'll spend a long time in the bathroom and s/he/they will ask "are you okay in there." So just say: "yeah, I'm cleaning my hole for you, sexy(s)."

Luna's Tips for Clogged Pipes:

1. Pre-Poo: Take a nice long dump. Make sure you get it all out. Bring a magazine. But whatever you do, don't push or force it out--that's not good for your ass health.

2. Paper: after your poo, pat off the crap with toilet paper. Don't rub, pat. Then layer some paper thick and moisten with warm water or spit. Use this to wipe the area down. You might have to do it more than once.

3. Pat: layer some more paper and pat your hole dry.

Note: The 3 P's (steps 1-3) are just proper butt hygiene as far as I'm concerned, but I've included them here because I've been with quite a few unsanitary assholes.

4: Pre-probe: before you stick anything bigger than a finger in there, you wanna do some probing. This will loosen you up and also encourage any stubborn turds to get the hell out. Do it on the toilet, on a bed with a dark-colored towel under your butt, etc.

Using spit or a water based lubricant, stick a finger or a small anal probe in your hole, slowly. Enjoy it. Don't hurry. You're gonna wanna get in there and feel around. If you use your finger, you'll actually be able to feel if there's a sneaky turd up in you. If there is, don't fret; just feel around carefully massaging gently the tunnel before the turd. This gentle touch will encourage your bowels to start their thing. You can do this carefully enough so that you don't get crap all on your finger; however, I'm not making any promises. Remember: if you're gonna be anal, you gotta deal with shit.

If you don't feel a turd, great! Stick your finger in to the bottom knuckle and start massaging.

If you opt to use an anal probe (a little dildo or doohicky) you won't know if you're dirty unless you stick it in, move it around, and pull it back out. It's like baking a cake and testing for doneness with a toothpick.

5. Poo again: with enough stimulation, chances are you'll want to take a crap again. So do, and follow the 3 P's.

6. Extra Credit: At this point you might want to give yourself a better stretching and make sure one last time that your tunnel's not congested. You've got a few options, again using lube: 1. Try sticking more fingers in yourself. 2. Try sticking a dildo in. 3. Tell your sex partner(s) to stick their fingers or dildos in you. This will stretch your sphincter muscles, lube your insides, and let you know whether the coast is clear or not. If you go the dildo route, put a condom on it cuz if it comes out brown you can just chuck the rubber instead of having to wash the dildo.

If you poo again, do the 3 P's again. If not, fuck yer brains out. You've earned it.

Happy probing, everyone.