Everyone is gay. Everyone. Or at least, I like to think so.

Since being so flustered (and, weirdly, almost offended) by anyone assuming that I was straight, I decided that I would move through life assuming everyone was gay unless they were walking down the street, hand in hand, fingers in rings, stroller leading the charge with a person of opposite gender - if one of them looked particularly trans, however, all bets were off. For a queer man confronting questions about gay marriage, urban entrapment/queer-baiting that leads to bashing, and a Pope who seems intent on blurring the line between Catholicism and fundamentalist fire and brimstone Protestantism, this voluntary delusion makes the world a happy, happy place.

Those guys in the Volkswagen commercial with the old chair become an adorable, bickering couple.

Those Dannon girls aren't just eating Activa on their study break.

Adam Baldwin as Jayne in Firefly, becomes a hot, bisexual boor who sublimates his lust for Sean Maher as Simon by threatening to kill him in the most classic manifestation of pre-school playground syndrome.

And douche commercials, well...they'll never quite be the same.

“The court is holding a legal gun to the head of the State Legislature, and saying, ‘Listen, there are two bullets, you get to pick the bullet: either gay marriage or civil unions,’ ” said Matt Daniels, president of Alliance for Marriage, an organization based in the Washington area that supports a federal Constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage. “And that is not democracy. That is court-imposed policy-making that takes this out of the hands of the people.”

- New Jersey Court Backs Full Rights for Gay Couples, New York Times, October 25, 2006

Silly, silly, Matt Daniels. Why do these people continually forget that protection of the few is as much a part of democracy as rule by the many? He sees our government working and believes that it's broken. It's like seeing Iraq and believing that a war between factions or regions of the same country is not civil war.