Gay Republican Prong

Thursday, October 28. 2004

A while ago, I was chatting (i.e. going through the room lists looking at people's pictures) on gay.com, when I came across someone who had posted a really stunning photograph of a very shapely chest, flat stomach, and a gigantic, perfect prong sticking out of the fly of a pair of jeans. I like to think of myself as uncommonly sensitive to such displays of natural beauty, so I admired it for several seconds, before impulsively writing to the guy. I said something witty, probably, "Nice prong". He had a face picture on there too, but it wasn't as appealing as the other picture; he was a little boyishly middle-american for my tastes. There was no doubting how impressive the other shot was, however. He wrote back, much to my surprise, as muscular erections rarely reply to my comments, saying "Bush or Kerry?" I replied, continuing in the witty vein I'd started with my opening gambit, "Your prong." Then I read his profile, which went on about how masculine he was, how he refused to fuck any "pussy Kerry supporters," and lots of other drivel. When I looked at his face again, I decided he didn't just look pretty, he looked stupid too. "Sorry," he said, since my choice wasn't allowed, and that was the last I heard from the Beautiful Republican Prong. I wondered how other people reacted to this schtick; I have a boyfriend, so these conversations are meaningless for me, but would someone with less fortitude and more need to be validated really to lie and say they like W, just to get near that Beautiful Republican Prong? Was he hoping I would start begging? I must admit that I felt more than a little titillated at the idea of this atavistic creature with serious equipment making civilized lefties beg for it.

When I first moved to Washington DC, I had a definite thing for conservative guys; I just dig something about the look, and maybe there was something of the schoolgirl's desire for the wrong sort of boy to my attraction. But this was more than a little nutty.

I have some gay Republican friends and I think it's up to them what they consider important in their lives, not the Great Gay Consensus, and definitely not up to me to tell them they're wrong. One of them is always surrounded by friends constantly complaining about the administration and big corporations, even when they come to his home for dinner, even though they know he's not like-minded; it sounds like they just talk about it as if my friend is not even there. He's not the kind of guy who seems to have thought out his politics very carefully, or really wants to, any more than half of my liberal-minded friends have, so I leave him be. I don't quite feel sorry for gay Republicans, since about the last thing they need is my sympathy, and for all I know the Beautiful Republican Prong is some sort of Nazi who is a little too into his hot white dick, and not as harmless as my friend is. But I do sort of wonder how many people rejected him because he was a Republican over the years, and if this is is little way of validating his beliefs to himself-- I may be in the minority, he says to himself, but I've got the bone everyone wants. In the end, it was very symbolic to me, as someone who really does hate this administration, and thinks it's steeped in the basest impulses of power and divisiveness, to literally have a dick speaking for it in the basest terms of desire and rejection.

Posted by Guest Contributors at 15:24 | Comment (1) | Trackbacks (0) |

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That sucks. I really hate that whole persona of "straight-acting" and needing to do anything possible to maintain their heteroness. It's sad to "act" a part you are not. People should learn to refute the cultural voice in their heads telling them that gay is wrong... and, learn to accept it and not have to act to please other people. Damn.

#1 Andrew (Homepage) on 2005-02-22 21:55

You're totally right about this. Straight Acting to me means acting like you fuck the opposite sex because that's what straight people do. What I think they really mean is that they are masculine but the fact that they equate masculinity with straight just shows that they have issues with their sexuality. Anyone can be masculine gay, straight, man or woman and the same is true for feminine.

By wrongly using straight for masculine they are perpetuating the myth that gay people are only one way- feminine. Thankfully gay people like straight people have a full range of actions when they are not acting and being true to themselves.

#2 Anonymous on 2005-03-11 00:38

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